Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
