but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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