I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
I use my feet as sexual weapons
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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