yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
