She's JV to your varsity
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
