member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Randomize
