I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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