I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
My ass is underappreciated
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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