she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
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