ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Just broke into a house and crawled through a window. Upside: getting laid.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
