Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Randomize
