For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
Vodka?
Forever.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
