Having a random hookup so left but love u
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
Randomize
