i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I am one with the molecules
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize