people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Say something about gay babies.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
ripping the fire alarm off the wall probably seemed like a better idea last night than it really was.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
