Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You called me at 3 am laughing like an idiot. Apparently you consider breaking out of the hospital to be a lifetime achievement.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
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