is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
sorry bout the carpet, but you DID call it "blackout punch" not "don't vom on my floor punch"
Randomize
