Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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