Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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