Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize