the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
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