I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Randomize
