sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
I'm guessing "whatever I can get" wasn't the reply the nurse wanted when asking what med I need. Oh, and asked for a cartoon band-aid.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
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