My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
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