Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I guess I'll put a green shirt on. Also, I just snorted some protein shake power. That doesn't have anything to do with St. Patrick's Day. I just wanted you to know in case i die.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
Randomize
