and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
