If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
