Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
