Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
