Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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