You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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