The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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