last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
