i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
he just fucked me for my cheese.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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