What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Randomize
