There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
Where does drinking Flat, warm beer from two days ago rank of the No Fucks Given scale?
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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