Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
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