Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
