I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
Just sent my mother the text "we need to get our vaginas looked at this thursday". Hows your day going?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Randomize
