The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
