Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
you made out with another girl for some wings
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Comedy Central is in dire need of more sitable faces late at night - Trevor Noah has a baby face - there are federal rules against those types of sexual fantasies
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
