She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
