saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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