How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
