i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize