if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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