If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
You tore a poster off a lamppost and ATE IT. That drunk.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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