It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
My bathroom smells like artichokes and absinthe. I am naming a perfume after you and using the money to buy new towels.
What if for Halloween I paint my self gold and make sandwiches for everyone? I'd be a trophy wife! Get it?
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
