I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Remember when we saw my neighbor taking dick pics of himself? He's back at it!
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
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