Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
