I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
