Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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