but the lizard people decide everything anyway
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
No, not normal drunk. Wake up on a trampoline with a naked chick you've never seen before drunk. I think i missed my first trampoline sex...
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
