Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
