he wants to bone in the snuggie
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Randomize
