just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
6 tequila shots, 3 kamikazes and 1 rumplemintz.. The next day I puked in my office trash can while doing payroll. I may have to dock my own pay for lack of class.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
