I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
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