But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
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