thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
