So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
