I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
