i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
