She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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