I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
My parole officer gave me condoms and a Starbucks gift card ... happy holidays.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Randomize
