I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Someone painted a weed leaf on my leg with red paint. Or blood. I hope paint.
Holy fuck just found a used tampon in the leg of my pants. it's not paint. It's. Not. Paint.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize