I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I think I just shit out all my problems.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
