You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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