Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
Randomize
