it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
We broke up in downtown Nashville with drunken, blow up penis waving bachelorette parties walking by. For some reason I can see this ending up as a country music video.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
