WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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