i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize