Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
