why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
My tinder date had to be home by 8:30 cause she's on house arrest.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
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