Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
you don't even have a vagina so you don't get to tell me what to put in mine
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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