My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Randomize
